5 Ass-Kicking Skills of Arnold Schwarzenegger

The 5 Ass-Kicking Skills of Arnold Schwarzenegger

Everything that makes him a movie hero, forever and ever

By Nick Schager

Arnold Schwarzenegger finds himself in an Agatha Christie-inspired bind when members of his DEA task force team begin dying at the hands of an unknown assassin in this Friday's Sabotage, an action-adventure movie from End of Watch writer/director David Ayer that gives the legendary star yet another opportunity to flex his might. After an eight-year stint as governor of California, the 66-year-old Schwarzenegger remains an imposing onscreen presence, and not simply because of his physique — be it in the surprisingly sturdy B-movie The Last Stand, his team-up with Sylvester Stallone Escape Plan, and now Sabotage, the actor continues to prove that he's more than just the size of his muscles. A titanic bruiser and deft comedian equally comfortable charming ladies, amusing kids, and breaking bad guys in two, Schwarzenegger is a star of understated versatility. In honor of his most recent bone-crunching outing, we run down the skill set that makes Schwarzenegger one of cinema's all-time great He-Men.

1. His Physical Prowess

Schwarzenegger's stardom is first and foremost predicated on his colossal body, which helped him become a seven-time Mr. Olympia. Schwarzenegger's sheer size makes him a formidable adversary for villains, though it's not just that he's big — it's that, especially in classics like 1987's Predator, he's vein-popping bulging.

That means that there are few co-stars who can even stand next to the actor without seeming puny by comparison, giving Schwarzenegger a visual enormity that's further amplified by the fact that he carries himself with menacing don't-tread-on-me confidence. He's so ripped in Commando that he looks like a cartoon character...

And in Conan the Destroyer, he's a physical specimen who turns out to be tougher than a wild stallion...

2. His Cold-Blooded Ferocity

While Schwarzenegger's body may be his most obvious asset, his icy stares and daunting demeanor are equally crucial factors in his long-term success as an action icon. For a hulking behemoth, it's his eyes that are the key to his charisma, given how quickly they can vacillate between warm and playful, and — in his best action sagas — unnervingly intimidating. There's a stone-cold fierceness to the actor as he suspiciously eyes a tablemate in True Lies...

Or dons sunglasses in Terminator 2: Judgment Day...

Or simply stares down those who would dare challenge his supremacy in Conan the Barbarian.

3. His Self-Deprecating Goofiness

Intimidation, however, is only part of what makes Schwarzenegger great. From the outset of his career, the star has exhibited a willingness to poke fun at himself and his kill-'em-all persona. That knowing sense of humor has made him an infinitely more charming leading man, as it reveals him to be someone who understands the silliness of embodying larger-than-life comic book-style characters. More important, however, he's a gifted comedian whose stabs at self-mockery have often been pitch-perfect, whether he's making a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live with weightlifting disciples Hans and Franz...

Or dressing up like a woman in the Ah-nold-is-pregnant farce Junior...

Or grinning like a ridiculous clown in the Danny DeVito-is-my-brother comedy Twins.

4. His Way with Children

If you're going to be a true superman, you have to be able to impress the ladies — which means, in turn, being good around children. Romance has always been a secondary component of Schwarzenegger's films, and yet when called upon to assume paternalistic duties, the star is always up to the challenge, even if, as in Kindergarten Cop, it means going country for the kids...

Infants are also no problem, as he comes to learn — after becoming impregnated himself — in the ludicrous Junior.
Furthermore, Schwarzenegger's kinship with children comes from his willingness to talk straight to them, even about complicated medical issues.

However, like any adult forced to contend with a gaggle of unruly tykes, even a goliath as great as Schwarzenegger can, admittedly, lose his patience from time to time.

5. His One-Liners

If anything has truly defined Schwarzenegger's peerless career as a face-punching, body-breaking, gun-toting badass, it's his ability to preface almost every unbelievably heroic feat with a one-liner. More than just the quips themselves, however, what makes Schwarzenegger's kiss-off bon mots so great is his delivery, which can be intensely screamy and insane, as in Predator...

Robotically menacing, as in The Terminator...

Squinty-eyed furious, as in Terminator 2: Judgment Day...

Tongue-in-cheek ridiculous, as in the horridly pun-happy Batman and Robin...

Or just cocky in the cheesiest — and most badass — manner possible, as in the one-liner-filled Commando:

160 Greatest Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes